In school, or even outside of school, I have always been gawked at just because I looked different. I have thick long hair down to my waist, tan/medium skin, and almond, deep set eyes. People would always ask me what my race was, and I would always say "Human" I asked my Mom when I was younger what I was, then she told me her story and then my Father's story.
Firstly my Father is full blood Italian. And both of his parents roots were in Southern Italy. My Mother's on the other hand is African and Blackfoot Native American. She told me about her parents, which in fact both had Blackfoot Grandparents. This intrigued me even more. She also told me about how her Great Grandmother, how she used to speak in her native tongue, and how she was beautiful beyond belief.
When I look at my Mom, I really don't see black, other than her skin. Everything else is all Native: her nose, her eyes, even her hair, stands out from other black women. My Mother, also told me how in school people, other black students, would make fun of her looks because she wasn't "black enough." I compared my own situation to hers...how I was always looked at and probed...how I was never enough of anything because I was multiracial.
I felt so alone until I branched out into the Native American community and to other multi-racial people who felt as I did and who weren't accepted like I was. Even my Italian family, disowned me because I connected more with my Mom's heritage then their own. To me you can be a million things, a million different bloodlines intermingled into one, but if you don't feel connected spiritually then you aren't part of the circle. I feel and have always felt close with my Native and Black side..and always will. But, that doesn't mean I disown my Italian side. I am three parts to one puzzle, and I fit together perfectly.
Now that I am twenty years old, I am still learning so much about my self and about my family's history. I learnt some words in my tribal language. Pretty soon I will jingle dance in the up and coming powwows, and I hope to one day act and model and speak for my people, my ancestors, and ALL the bloodlines that are in me.
No I am not just one part, I am a whole.
This is our 11th weekly personal story curated by the creator of 50 Shades of BLACK, Carlton Mackey, in partnership with I Love Ancestry (facebook) | www.iloveancestry.com called BRIDGING THE GAP featuring contemporary stories of people like YOU from around the world.
Each week we will feature one of YOUR stories about your ancestors, your heritage, and/or your coming to understand/celebrate your OWN identity.
We personally invite you to join us on this journey of discovery and healing. Share your stories, find your voice, speak your truths.
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